When you’ve been through a loss, it can come as such a shock, and can make it hard to even function. You may feel like you’re sleepwalking through life, and like you’re numb except when those big emotions hit you in waves. The waves can feel overwhelming. It can take about everything you’ve got just to hang on.
Often, people around you just don’t know what to do with grief. Some people pretend it didn’t happen. Some people try to cheer you up by saying things that just make you feel more alone. Some people are so overwhelmed by your loss that they don’t even know what to say, what to do.
After you’ve gotten devastating news, it can feel like you’re just not there — even though you’re walking around and talking to people, it’s like there’s a wall that keeps you from really relating to others. It’s like the whole world is going on happily while you’re devastated, feeling so alone in a crushing loss.
You’re not alone.
And your sense of isolation can stop.
Did you know that part of what adds to the sense of devastation you feel is likely the picture your mind makes when you think of what you’ve lost? What often happens when we lose someone is this: We get a visual in our head that won’t go away. And it’s of maybe the shock of the news that they’re gone. It’s of the last moment. These images can be devastating to live with. And they don’t help you to honor the person you’ve lost either.
You can learn to change the picture you have when you remember that loss, and that can profoundly change the feelings. It’s not that you’re suddenly happy! But there is a different lightness to the memory, and the horrible shock lessens. You can remember the positive feelings you had, and the good times. That helps to move you through the sadness, knowing that those good memories are still there, and knowing that you get to hold onto those.
That’s one way to help you to change how you feel around a loss.
Another way is to work with your body to help it to get through those very intense feelings inside. Some parts of you may still be in shock. Your body may want to tremble, or cry, or it may still just feel frozen. Together, we can work with all those sensations inside and get through so that your body knows that it’s being heard, and that it has the resources to move through.
This is different from “just talking,” and people often mention a profound feeling of release and even spaciousness inside after working with their body sensations. Your body wants to guide you into healing. Sometimes we just forget to pay attention to our bodies and don’t know how to honor our body’s instincts.
Curious to know more about how this is done? Want someone to walk with you through this, so you can come through your grief?
We can get you to the other side, together.
You can schedule a consultation with me here.