Am I the right counselor/coach for you?

  • Work with me from anywhere in the world over Skype or Zoom video
  • See me in person in Corvallis, Oregon

Do any of these sound like you?

Most of my successful clients have things in common. If you’re like them, I may be the right counselor/connections coach for you:

  • You are highly sensitive.
  • You’re okay with acquaintances, maybe even popular or respected -but very close relationships can evoke tangles for you – fear of getting close, fear of being abandoned – lots of fear as you get close to people.
  • You feel a lot of shame, perhaps assuming your relationship issues are your fault or believing your sense of shame or unworthiness is “the truth.” (Spoiler alert: it’s not the truth!)
  • You have talked your way through counseling before, maybe sharing a lot and getting lots of support – but still, your deepest feelings and stuck places haven’t really shifted.
  • You have a lot of compassion for others, but are much harder on yourself.
  • You’ve been abandoned or betrayed.
  • You have sometimes doubted your own worth or your own take on things.
  • You dream of doing really cool things, but you have difficulty either taking on new projects or finishing them.
  • You often feel alone, unseen, unmet, yearning for something more but unsure how to get from here to there – or if you deserve to be deeply cared for.
  • You are the rock for others in your life, but no one is your rock.

Did you resonate with some of this? If so, I’d love to meet you.

Who I am

I’m Michaela. I love to help people to connect: to connect back with their bodies, with their hearts and emotions, with others in their lives, with their deepest sense of self. I also like help intellectual and emotional connections to meet: To help join what you know in your head with what you feel in your heart and your body.

I write about and work  mostly with connection tangles. Like the places within you that feel unmet and lonely no matter how many people are around.

Or that place in you that feels inadequate, not quite good enough, even when you get accolades.

Or the place that gets close to people and then feels all tangled: yearning and anger combine, perhaps, or you feel like you want too much, or like you can’t want anything or ask for help at all.

Working interactively to notice and shift your experience, moment by moment. 

How do we work together? Generally, with lots of compassion, humor, and gentleness. People tell me this work is very different from “just talking” or from trying to analyze what’s up. We take our cues from your emotions, your body, and from what happens as you and I connect. We try to find out what keeps happening that keeps you stuck, and to help replace your old relationship experiences with something new.  Here are some beliefs that deeply guide my work:

Our bodies can convey what our words sometimes can’t. By noticing your body language together, we can tap into and deepen your biggest resources and strengths – and we can also discover and move through “stuck” emotions, old beliefs, and unmet yearnings.
Our emotions tell our stories too (especially the emotions that seem to keep coming up that we can’t quite make sense of), and offer us a vehicle for resolution of those pained, scared, angry places.
Our “weird,” not-so-good behaviors that give us so much shame are our best attempts at navigating the world we grew up in (and maybe the world we’re in now too!).
Movement can heal. Connection can heal. I can’t heal you but I can support you, help you find the authentic voice that’s been waiting to be welcomed, support the movements that have been halted somehow, the pain that hasn’t been accompanied to resolution.

The work is very different from mental health treatment and diagnosis. It’s more of an interaction than a discussion, more somatic and emotion-focused than analytical, more dynamic than still.  This work is best suited to people who are high-functioning but still not satisfied, who have unmet need or yearning. If you skate along but find it rather hard to feel connected, even when you are connected, this kind of work is an excellent fit. If you’re an overachiever who finds it hard to slow down and breathe and feel, it can likely help you too.

If you have unresolved pain (And who among us doesn’t?) that gets in the way of feeling your own solidity, strength, and success, I’d love to help.

If you want to enrich your experience of life and of connection, and if you want help to put some pieces together after some difficult life stuff, I’m  here and ready to accompany you on that.

The best place to start is with a consultation to check with how you and I “jive”. That tends to be the most important thing – As much as I love all the techniques I’ve learned, they’re secondary to the sense of connection you and I can build. You can set up that consultation right here.

What my counseling clients say:

“I can’t believe how much easier it is for me now. I can get through the day without crying. I can go to work. I can talk to people. I haven’t felt this good in a long, long time!”

“I was beyond burnt out on therapy before I met you, and never would have come to see you if we hadn’t met by chance. But I’m so glad I did meet with you, because you changed my idea of therapy, and showed me that I’m not just a ‘set of symptoms,’ and that there are things that can help me. I finally know how to keep my peace instead of going into a rage. I never would have thought this was possible before we met!”

“It’s like there was this sense of being blocked — like concrete in my heart somehow. I can feel the concrete melting now. I’m crying, but with relief this time.”

“I used to feel like I needed other people to take care of me, and I felt so desperate. It was a need that never felt like it eased up, and I had parts inside that wouldn’t work together. Now, it’s like the parts are along with me, and we’re working together. I feel like I can take care of myself now, like I have support from inside.”

“At the end of our work together, I know I’ve come a long way. And I enjoyed our work, too! And I love how many approaches you use, and how you’re always learning new things and bringing them to our work. It kept the work so fluid and dynamic. We did hypnosis, and I had big breakthroughs.   The therapy that worked with my body helped me to feel a sense of boundaries and  solidity in myself. And your empathy helped me to feel what I was feeling, to stop suppressing my emotions.
My relationships are better. I know what I want, and I can say it. I’m taking care of myself, and all the parts of me are working together.

I know I’m ready to move forward. I was stuck, and you helped me to get unstuck!”

I feel like you ‘get me’, and you know ways to help me to move through and past things that have been holding me back for a long time. I finally know how to keep my peace instead of going into a rage. I never would have thought this was possible before we met!”

“I know it’s safe in here because your words, your posture, your laugh — they all tell me it’s really okay to bring all of me here. It’s a sense of safety I’ve needed for a long time.”

“I suddenly had this epiphany — this realization — that most people are safe. Most people mean well. I hadn’t felt that before. I’d always been on guard without even knowing it.

I used to be so hard on myself. Now, I can catch myself starting to do that, and I imagine your compassion. Your compassion for me is helping me to be compassionate toward myself, and that changes things for me.”

“My energy is coming back, and I can focus now. With the things I’ve learned, I can settle myself and focus. I’m so much calmer at work, and that’s making my time there much more productive!”

“My boss gave me a piece of feedback, and before, I would have just shut down and felt angry at her — and like a failure inside. This time, I saw her feedback as a true gift, and I was able to take it in and make real improvements. She noticed the difference!”

“My partner and I got into an argument again, but I was able to calm down so much more quickly and speak so that he could hear me. He said this is the first time he’s seen me so at ease, and it’s so much easier for us to talk!”

All these words above are from clients of mine, folks who started out feeling unsure of themselves. Some of them had to work hard to get themselves to therapy! But they did schedule to see me, and they followed through. For some clients, coming to counseling is a leap of faith, or an act of honoring themselves even when they’re not sure yet that they can get better.

See Me in Face-to-Face or Over Internet Video

My counseling office is in downtown Corvallis, Oregon, so I am also within easy reach of Philomath, Albany, Lebanon, Monroe, Monmouth, and the surrounding areas.

And I offer connections coaching to clients  from around the world via Skype or Zoom video.

To learn more, schedule a consultation right here.

I'm ready for practical, interactive counseling!

 

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Michaela Lonning
260 SW Madison Ave, Suite 104-5
Corvallis Oregon 97333

(541)224-6732

michaela@michaelas-counseling.com

Author: Michaela Lonning

I'm a counselor in Corvallis, Oregon, and I work mostly with intelligent and sensitive people who are struggling with a sense of connection to themselves or in their relationships. Near Corvallis? Come see me. Not near Corvallis? I work with clients around the world via Skype: Come see me.